Dear Abby Moments

Digging through my archives, I found this little blog I did back in 2012. I think it’s worthy of a reblog, and if you enjoyed it as much as me please leave a comment and let me know…..

My favorite part of reading the paper is reading the Dear Abby column. Most of the time, you read about sincere advice seeking inquirers needing sincere answers to their dilemmas, at more rare times, you will find humorous posts that you will never be able to forget about. I found one of those unforgettable post many years ago, but have never forgotten it.

I can only imagine what it would be like to try and answer some of those letters that she receives, such as:

Dear Abby,

My neighbors are two women who live together and there is never a man seen coming into or leaving their apartment. I am curious if it might be possible that the women are Lebanese?

Or how about the man who wants to know what he can do about all the sex, nudity and fowl language on his VCR?

Not to mention the worried young woman who says she has a man she can’t trust. He cheats so much, and she is not sure if the baby she is carrying is his.

My favorite of all is the young man whose reputation is at stake. Here is his letter to Abby:

Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My sister is married to a transvestite. My parents are from Philadelphia and were arrested for growing and selling Marijuana, and they are dependent on my other two sisters who are prostitutes in Jersey City. One of my brothers is serving a non-parole life sentence in Attica for murdering a 14 year old boy. The other brother is being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I am engaged to a Thai prostitute in the Bronx. She is still a part time “working girl” in a brothel. We plan to open our own brothel with my fiance being the working manager. We hope my two sisters will join our team and make it a family buisness. However, I prefer they wouldn’t prostitute, but I feel like it would be getting them off the streets and their heroin habits. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be honest with her. Should I tell her about my distant cousin who is French?

Signed,

Worried about my reputation,

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