My journey, still a struggle in it’s own rite. The passage has been one of tears and battles, but also one of lessons learned. It’s coming up the middle of the month. Time is running out and panic is trying to seep through. This is where I decide to sink or swim.
It reminds me of the Israelites on their way out of Egypt. They struggled with obstacles I suppose kind of like I do. Fear. Doubt. Not fully trusting God. Trying to figure it out on my own. It took the Israelites 40 years to figure it out, then they needed a Moses to do it for them. All of my life, there have been road blocks at every turn. I reached a point of just accepting it, and falling into survival mode. It’s really all I’ve ever known.
Today, I stand staring at my bump in the road and for once in my life I’m not giving in to its failures. I tell those pesky voices to shut up and take a hike. I finally found courage to grab hold of some crazy Faith. This time, I give it all to my creator and if it cost me everything I have, so be it. I’m taking the leap and believe me, it’s a big one. Sure, I have spoken the words that this is just crazy on so many levels but what have I to lose? Yet, what have I to gain?
Sometimes you just get too tired to keep treading around that same mountain. The very mountain you would love to stand on victorious over your Egyptians but valley 101 is a valuable class room and God will use those Egyptians to put His glory on display. Sometimes, you just have to give it all to God and let Him fight your battle. “Be still, and watch my glory.” That statement is from God Himself.
So, I accept my crazy faith challenge with no conditions. I do know, God will never leave me nor forsake me. He will shine His glory through my situation no matter what. Job can testify to this very kind of crazy Faith. Like me, he had questions for God but soon learned it wasn’t about him at all. In the end, God’s restoration was over and beyond anything Job imagined. In the end, the Israelites walked on dry ground when God Himself split a sea in half and made a road for them to cross through and drowned an angry army that was full of vile evil with intent to kill those who just crossed through that sea. In the end, when Jesus hung on a cross for you and for me, for every person in the past and for each one in the future, he died for us, was buried and death could not hold Him. The mic dropped the second He walked out of that tomb and He still lives today and for those who believe, we will meet Him soon.
What have I to lose? Maybe everything, but my soul will gain eternal value and my end will be greater than my beginning…..