What a journey! The ups and downs. The tears and depression. Each day brought a new problem that continued to pile up leaving me with no hope and lots of burning questions.
An inner battle between faith and fear was a constant every day. I struggled to hold on to faith. One moment I would fly high on wings of confidence, then another I was drowning in a sea of panic.
I cried out to God to help me with my struggle. It was clearly draining the life out of me and the stress was literally killing me physically. I had issues with trying to understand God’s way of doing things when I know His ways are not mine, nor His thoughts.
I began to write down scriptures from my devotions that were based on doubts and fears, confusion and turmoil. Depression and anything of the likes thereof, and everyday, I would start my morning by reading these scriptures aloud.
Nothing seemed to be improving only getting worse, but as I continued reading these particular scriptures that dealt with my current situation, something deep within me released its grip. I began to accept whatever came my way thinking of all the sufferings Christ endured and it made me Christ – like to suffer as well.
Then, something miraculous began to take place. Little miracles were popping up, then bigger ones. I can’t say this without mentioning the peace that settled inside my soul. The kind you can’t explain. Where I stood in the middle of a brutal storm, with everything crashing around me even my health, the loss I was facing became a miracle itself.
I should be homeless. I should have lost everything I owned including my precious little twin cats. This ate at me every day tormenting me to no ends. But, God has a different plan. He promised He would never leave me nor forsake me. And He hasn’t.! I’m still here! I still have everything without losing anything and that is a huge miracle in itself.
Never give up no matter how dark your life becomes. Hold on to what you believe no matter what. Miracles still happen and yours is just around the corner…. By Jane Hardin