I believe everything happens for a reason and I’ve always heard it said, “there is a reason for every season.” Over the past few days I pondered on the people in my life and have tried to grasp changes in circumstances and attitudes in those who no longer add value to my life. I’m talking about those who have drained the very life from my soul. I think of a few whom I see emails or messages come through and things become unsettling instantly. These are the very ones who no longer bring joy to my soul, rather its everything but joy.
The past few days, I have reaped so much negativity simply because I allowed my attitude to become a free spirit in putting my two cents worth in and the attitude has the power to speak things into existence and I reaped the loss of a nine year relationship. But the loss itself was what I needed. This person engaged in always taking rather than giving, dishing it out but not being able to take the return. Always twisting the truth to suit the need. Constantly bombarding me with lies that I knew for a fact were being told.
The trust factor was destroyed and that alone is the essential part of any relationship and for me, once trust is compromised, it’s never the same. If you are going to take up residence in my circle, then you must be trustworthy, reliable and genuinely concerned about what is best for me as I share the same concepts for you. I cannot risk my health to have a relationship with a poisonous, toxic person who is all about them and them only.
Yesterday, I became angry with someone who was constantly trying to make a liar out of me. Our business has suffered due to the pandemic of this Covid-19 virus. Money had stopped coming in, and food supplies at the grocery store have been low. I have done my part in self-quarantine and have had to ration food and supplies. He made a spectacle of me on his Facebook wall and another American chimed in and disrespected me saying I was telling non-truths. This person doesn’t even know me at all. She lives in a different state than I do yet claimed that things were not as bad as I was telling my so-called friend, whom by the way, used to be my fiance. He screen shot the replies then sent them to me. Why? I have no clue. He is not an American and resides in the UK.
This bothered me to no end that this woman would spout out her negativity towards someone she didn’t know, nor my situation especially a fellow American. Therefore as a result, I became angry and I let my UK friend know exactly what I was feeling inside which ran my blood pressure to dangerous levels. I cried from the grief that was just added to my already dismay from everything going on in our world. The pressure has been great and life has not been the same, not only for me but for every single soul on this planet. We should be pulling together rather than starting wars amongst ourselves. We have enough to deal with in this epidemic than people getting crazy and showing who they really are inside.
I pondered on the situation deeply and made a choice to let it go. To let it all go including the one who masterminded the ordeal. Last night, after many tears and unanswered questions, I decided that it was time for a change. It was time for me to move on because every decision I make has an impact on my life, my future. I sent the email apologizing for my negative words I last spoke to him but I was cutting the cord and would not be able to be friends any longer. It’s my life, I choose who can bring grief and who doesn’t. My circle is quickly changing because I made a decision to detoxify every negative thing in my life. I will not feel guilty, nor look back. The final chapter of that story was completed in the decision I made and I feel like a bird released from its cage. I feel like I could fly high for the first time in a very long time.
I will no longer suffer sabotage from those who live to bring others down. There was a reason this person was put in my life nine years ago. God had to teach me valuable lessons and for these nine years its been one lesson after another and as I finally learned I do not have to tolerate venomous bites from snakes on two legs, I felt released from an area in my life that desperately needed change. But now, that season is over and the door to my cage will never close, in fact, there will never be a cage.
Don’t allow toxic people steal your joy or your sense of well-being. It’s your life, you get to control who is a part of it and who isn’t. A good spring cleaning will do you good. Take charge, go strong!